Replaceable love
by Dana-Eliza
Summary: Deidara is with an OC, but leaves her for Sasori. She explains the way it happens... Not very clear, but I think it's nicely written.


Alright, so this is a little different than I usually write, but this has been haunting me like forever... I hope you enjoy this, because I still think it's sort of beautiful... The guy who's interested in Deidara is Sasori.

...

The evening started out like any other. We went out, he drank some, I drank something else and we had fun. Then everything changed when someone found my love attractive. He talked to him and Deidara loved the attention. I knew he would, he always did. He loved it when the world revolved around him and the way this boy was looking at him, it was nothing more than admiration. His brown eyes almost gleam gold whenever he laid his eyes on him. I knew then that it was Deidara's time to go and I would let him, like I let others go before him.

I went to leave when I had enough of the bar, enough of the dancing and enough of the curious glances, but Deidara was far from done. He even asked if I would mind that he stayed and I knew that saying yes wouldn't get me anywhere. It would only make him leave faster than I could handle. So I said he could stay and he said he loved me and I did the same in my own way. He loved it when I used the ancient language, so it was my way of manipulating him. He would stay longer, but not forever. They never did.

After that evening they became good friends. Deidara hung out with him and his friends as much as he could and I let him. They even stayed over at my house which was big enough anyway. I didn't mind having them around. I would find my own place in the house and would let them have fun. I never joined them though. I didn't want to see the boy who would steal my love away.

When the boys left and the last curious glances were launched my way, I took Deidara upstairs. I showed him what it was like to truly be loved. There was nothing more special than being loved by an immortal like me. There was pain, but that turned into pleasure fast. The prick of my teeth latching onto his skin did hurt, but the hormones it released afterwards were amazing for a human. There wouldn't be a better loved than I was. But still, I couldn't give the humans what they truly desired. A real life, growing old together and learning on the way there.

I knew he loved those moments we spent together and I knew he truly loved me. I gave him a life he could only have dreamed about. A life like that just gets boring very quickly. Getting everything your heart desires, but never giving any in return. He wanted to work, but he never needed to. I didn't need his money, I only needed him. I loved being loved.

His days spent with his new best friend got more frequent, but a certain friend tagged along on most of their dates spent in my house. He was always there and I knew I had caught his eye. Young boys always found me intriguing. They always wondered what it would be like to fully give yourself to a vampire, but I was picky. I needed to be sure that they could truly love me. This one would be capable. He wasn't the one for a one night stand, he was too shy for that. But for now I belonged to Deidara and that would be enough. This one just chose the wrong vampire to fall in love with.

After a while he wouldn't invite his friend over anymore and he would only spend time there. I knew the love had started to grow between the two. It was only a matter of time before I would be out of the picture again. I was only interesting for a short period of time.

A few more weeks had gone by and he started to smile like the other. A woodsy sent lingered around him and I knew they touched now. Not all of them would cheat on me, but some did. Deidara was one of them. The worst part was that he knew I knew. The guilt that fell on his face whenever he made love to me. He meant the love, but not as much as he used to. I would claw his back open just to erase the look. Just give me a look of pleasure I would think in those moments.

It wasn't long until he left. I had been away on a business trip and when I came home his bags stood by the front door. He cried, I didn't. He kissed, I didn't. He left, I didn't. My heart ached for weeks, the pain too much to even think of my own life. Vampires loved more than humans, just because they could. Some vampires even took their own life when their lover left. The pain was also greater than a human's pain. I had never even thought about taking my own life. I was granted a gift that gave me so much. The fact that I could love more was special enough. Every emotion that runs through my veins is stronger than normal.

Now as I'm sitting on the floor, listening to Hallelujah and feeling sorry for myself, I realize that maybe that was the greatest gift. Humans can love only a few and some only one. Vampires can love many and will never forget. And as all of the past names play through my head, Deidara's included this time, the doorbell rings. I open the door and there he stands. The black hair with matching eyes, reminding me of the night. I didn't expect him to be here and he probably didn't want to. His friend had left me for another one of his friends. What right did he have to even be here? He probably wondered if he should even be here. So I invite him in and as the last chorus sets in, I know I won't be alone anymore and eventually Itachi's name will be among the others, reminding me of great moments.

Characters Masashi Kishimoto

If you don't know the song, I like the version sung by Jeff Buckley. Listen to it, it's really beautiful.


End file.
